None dare call it news

September 24, 1997

Campaign Trail

simpleton to "recapture" public with new W&K ad campaign

NEW YORK -- simpleton shareholders are crying for blood. As the Dow Jones Industrial Average inched back toward the 8,000 mark late Tuesday, common shares of Calzone, the majority owner of simpleton.com, continued a weeks-long march toward the doghouse, and a splinter group of Calzone investors is demanding action. Calzone Chief Executive officer Peabody Briggs, in an emergency board of directors meeting, announced plans for a "top-down review" of the company's management structure, and highlighted efforts to improve public perception of the ailing company through a bold new advertising campaign.

Calzone (blue) continued to underperform the Dow (red).

"Calzone is a great company, with a positive, almost iconic, perception among the crucial K-12 demographic," Briggs noted. "We aim to bring that image back to the forefront. People love simpleton. People grew up with simpleton. We need to recapture that love." "Darker, edgier" campaign Effective immediately, the company said in a press release, Calzone is dumping its relationship with Saatchi & Saatchi advertising, whose previous, "simpleton: It'll blow you!" campaign was universally maligned. In its place, Calzone has picked up Portland-based Wieden & Kennedy to create what W&K spokesman Frederick the Great called "a darker, edgier campaign, a campaign the Post-Advertising Generation can take seriously." Terms of the Calzone-W&K agreement were not disclosed. Smith Barney analyst Meyer Lansky speculated Calzone will take a charge against future earnings to finance the new campaign and the company's reorganization. W&K's series of anti-ads for Nike has made the Malaysia-based sandal manufacturer synonymous with state-of-the-art advertising. More recently, the company's "macrobrew" spots for Miller Genuine Draft have earned plaudits from reinvention guru Robert Goldsboro. Company spokesman Frederick said W&K focus groups consistently indicate a desire for more honest, hard-hitting spots. "Advertising is so dumb," said focus group participant Missy Frieze, a student in Atlantic City High School's Gifted and Talented program. "They're always telling you 'Buy our stuff or you won't be good enough. You're ugly and stupid if you don't use our product.'"