We all know that, as part of the pre-trial maneuvering in the Marv Albert sexual assault case, prosecutors took Matt Hooper-style bite radius measurements from the plaintiff's keester. There was talk of getting Marv to submit to a dental impression, so that forensic scientists could see if his dentition matched the victim's wound.

What you may not have heard is that the marks indicated the bites were made by what simpleton's source (who spoke on condition of anonymity) called "The most fucked-up set of teeth in human history." Rumors are vague on this point, and of course the premature end of the trial precludes us from knowing for certain, but we hear the marks seem to have been made by a mouth with two or three rows of dentata, or something equally deformed.

Fear factor = 1.2 (Unless you're the plaintiff, that is...).

Probability of truth = No way to tell (Marv Albert's guilty plea, and the end of courtroom fact-finding, ensures that this rumor will forever remain a human mystery - unknown and unknowable).