Slapstick of another kind! If you want physical comedy, Hollywood's always been happy to oblige. Unfortunately, in the old days, they obliged with the excruciatingly slow and laborious antics of Jerry Lewis, who was so unfunny that only the French* ever seemed to dig him. Lucky for us we now have Rowan Atkinson's Mr. Bean, whose excruciatingly slow and laborious antics have an appeal far from the Seine. Indeed, so many Americans profess the same sort of unmingled admiration for Mr. Bean and his upcoming movie that I'm beginning to feel like Kevin McCarthy at the end of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Oh, on second thought, Mr. Bean really is a gas! * This is the commonly held belief anyway; I've never met a single French person who thought Jerry Lewis was funny.

That's all for today, so feel free to return to Hollywood's beginnings... Pitch your movie idea to simpleton. A special note to our readers: In honor of the death of Princess Diana, simpleton promotional graphics are now available in black as well as white: Previously in simpleton: Friday: Sesame Street Tabloid: Muppets go noir Thursday: Welcome to my homepage: Automatic poetry from uninspired webmasters Wednesday: Lobotomy's back: And not a minute too soon! Tuesday: The Whole Disgusting Scramble: When is a country not a country? Monday: The Horror: Five good reasons to stay Out of Africa. Friday: The Best of Simpleton: a century of excellence A century of simpletons in the simpleton archive. Tomorrow: Everybody's a martyr.