[simpleton]

Fall back and regroup

October 27, 1997
New ones Monday through Friday


How Did You Spend
The Extra Hour?

Making better use of standard time


Maureen woke up at 3:00 a.m. to take advantage of the extra hour we all gained in moving back to standard time. Determined to get clean once and for all, she used her free time to take an extra shower.
[no use: I can feel the germs crawling all over me]


Mike spent his complimentary 60 minutes in a philosophical inquest regarding the banality of evil.
[we know mean people suck. but why?]



One friend of simpleton took the opportunity to make some additions to his "special list."
[a list of people who MUST DIE!]


Carl spent most of September and October carving gazelle skeletons into chicken bones. He planned to use the fallback hour to make these bones the crowning glory of his costume for All Hallows Eve. He didn't finish in time.
[now i just sew them into my serape for the slamminest halloween costume ever]


Quigley took the time to do what he loves doing best - making up zany song parodies!
[if kurt were alive, he'd love it!]


Danielle slept through the night, but had her sleep disturbed by a dream in which she hadn't been to class all semester - and now it was the last day of school!
[if i keep levitating like this they won't notice i'm naked. but what are these toadstools on my feet?]


As for me, I spent the hour the way I spend all my free time - rearranging my collectibles and networking with other collectors.
[i think i speak for the entire barbie community in adding...]

Tell simpleton how you spent your free hour,
and we'll print your letter! 


A special note to our readers:
Edgy, dark and irresistably snide,
simpleton promotional graphics
are the very definition of "cred".
Pick one up now. Whatever.

[simpleton sucks]






Previously in simpleton:


Friday: The Year 1000 Bug: Domesday approaches
Thursday: Really unplugged simpleton
Wednesday: Reader Mail: Volume 3
Tuesday: Great Hoaxes: Five stories that should be true.
Monday: Missed Opportunities: Everybody's got 'em, but only once
Friday: simpleton unplugged: The ugliest page on the web.
Thursday: T&A Jokes Explained: More Taylorism for quipsters


A century of simpletons in the simpleton archive.


Tuesday:

Stock footage beats reel life