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Whatever happened to the great egg creams at Nathan's? One helpful
lexiphile (as opposed to a full-fledged lexican) sends in that these treats
lacked both an ovoid and a lactic element - hence the title was chosen for euphony.
This habit of sonoritese isn't limited to the outer boroughs. In 1968, when I was a
young speechwriter for an underrated Presidential hopeful (his foreign policy was
excellent), I coined the phrase "dithering dickheads of dubiousness," which is still
bruited about (in my column).
The first rule of argot - from assface to zipperhead is that it must be
easy on the ear. The Beatles, a musical group from across The Pond, coined the
terms pataphysical and walrus gumboot, although, among today's vibrant
hippie culture (or, as Lex Irregs prefer, subculture), earlier citiations may
exist for these locutions.
A similar principle is at work in the Generation H phrases bite me and suck
me, which trace their roots to the old advertising slogan "I wish I were an Oscar
Meyer wiener." Crime mavens are also reminded of Crime Dog McGruff, and his admonition
to "Take a Bite Outta Crime" (outta being a phoneticism for out of).
In the hands of youth, however, bite me has taken on a meaning similar to
the one Italians give to fungool, as in "Bite me if you don't like my Nice Pants."
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Whence this proliferation of mastic metaphor? Cap Weinberger once told me "These Salt
II agreements really bite big moosecock." This sentence begs parsing. Salt,
shorn of its association with sodium chloride, is an acronym for Strategic Arms
Limitations Talks (the rule of acronyms being that once an acronym has passed into
general usage, only the first letter is capitalized).
"Moosecock," according to Jim Beam, author "Words Words Words: A Dummies' History of
Slang" (St. Martin in the Fields Press, Truth or Consequences, NM., 78 pgs, $78),
derives from Colonial dialect which often conflated Alces americana with
Gallus Gallus (current derivations include cocksure and cock of
the walk). Thus, a telling mixed metaphor - mordens and animism, as in
the colorful phrase pig-biting mad.
It's unlikely the current crop of bobbysoxers knows the pre-Revolutionary pedigree
of this particular piece of lingo. More likely, they treasure the consonance and
sassily
insidish tone of this obscure phraseology.
_______
SMOKEOUT
At the Senate hearings on campaign finance reform, lobbyist and treasured Hong Kong
comedian Johnny Yun claimed ignorance of What the President Knew and When. Senator
Fred Thompson, an accomplished performer, brought some thespic skill to his response:
"Mr. Yun, when are
you gonna quit blowing smoke up my ass?"
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Jesse Slideblower, senior editor at Cruisin' Books, counts this asino-fumigatory idiom
as a product of the same primordial soup that spawned such currencies as
fuggedaboudit and tubesteak boogie. Taking it from the top,
gonna is a New Yorker's phonetic contraction of going to, in the
gedouddahere mode. How Tennessee's Thompson developed this tic in Opryland
is a mystery, though some of my inside Senate friends chalk it up to the then-actor's
method research for
his small role in "The Boys in the Band."
As for the colorful conflation of smoke and donkey, this does sound like a
Tennesseeism, though I've found no citations. 40 acres and a mule to the first logophile
who provides one. The specific derivation may become more clear as the hearings reach
their conclusion.
Tune in, if you give a fungool.
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![[simpleton]](img/saltpeter.gif)