Introduction

The baroque history of Wankers of Arabia began when a series of scabrous letters from Chris_k2 and Deathbeast - two Englishmen with a professed loathing for all things American - began arriving in the Calzone mailroom. Heaping scorn and vitriol on simpleton and the United States, expressing an interest in tropical diseases of the swollen testicle variety, and eager to overthrow, annihilate or otherwise inconvenience Iraqi strongman Saddam Hussein (all the evidence is in the letters), the two hapless Englishmen inspired a series of hair-raising adventures. When the Irishman Terry Clarke and the Scotsman Dougal Ritchie sent in their own series of supportive letters, these Celts too were added to the ever-widening intrigue. And so we begin the story in media res, just as the two British citizens are congratulating each other on their initial salvo against poor simpleton. Part 1: England's Finest