April 7, 1998
Condolences
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Thanks for all your letters of condolence, sympathy cards, expressions of outrage, and
petulant complaints.
Since simpleton deserves a better sendoff than yesterday's terse announcement, your
messages will be included in a special Viking Funeral on Thursday. We had hoped for a
full-scale Irish wake/funeral/three-day bender, but then you'd all have to certify that
you're over 21. We may throw in a Voodoo Funeral as well.
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