Jamuary 6, 1999

One Fein Day

We declare for 2000

As you all know, simpleton has won the hearts of generations of kids for its cavalcade of "humor." But right now we'd like to talk to you about something serious. Elizabeth Dole's recent announcement that she may consider a run for President in 2000 has charmed commentators across the land. Many are gushing about Dole's "broad appeal," her experience in "two cabinet positions," her yeoman work for the American Red Cross, her freedom from the taint of ever having held elective office, and most of all, her scintillating turn as a town hall host during husband Bob's 1996 presidential run. Now these are fine credentials, and in the spirit of all-intrusive campaigning, it might help to take a closer look at them. Running a sizable organization like the Red Cross must be a taxing job, and it has a kind of philanthropic ring to it, but frankly what has the American Red Cross done for you lately? It's an estimable organization, maybe, but if you believe the popular legend that the Red Cross charged American G.I.s 50 cents each for donuts and coffee during the Battle of the Bulge (1944 cents, no less!), then "Red Cross president" should carry about as much resume weight as "Yippie leader." The cabinet claims are real. Liddy Dole was Secretary of Transportation from 1983 to 1987, and Secretary of Labor from 1989 to 1991. As Oval Office credentials go, a cabinet position is nothing to sneeze at, but would you vote to elect the current Secretaries of either Labor or Transportation to the White House? Could you even name these two individuals? (Answers below) Dole's last, and best, claim to Presidential contendorship is that she is married to Bob Dole. Take the Viagra steamroller out of the equation and she barely registers as a public servant. And without meaning any disrespect to the distinguished former Senator, that's the problem. We know about Elizabeth Dole because of her husband, just as we know of Hillary Rodham Clinton (the runner-up, if not the winner, in most Woman-President wish lists) through hers. It's a true measure of how unseriously we take the idea of a woman President that our two leading contenders are women we know primarily or entirely through their men. These aren't real Presidential candidates at all; they exist to give us a whimsical moment of imagining what it would be like to have a woman President, before we get back to voting for men. What's most frustrating about this charade is that right now, we really do have a woman who is eminently qualified for the job - electable, seasoned, and with a breadth of experience that ranges from the collegiate wrangling of the parliamentary system to the carpet-calling heroics of executive office. Longtime readers know that I've been a Dianne Feinstein supporter since, well, a couple years ago. My endorsement of her as a Presidential candidate doesn't stem from her Senate career (which the vociferous Feinstein haters have picked apart in grisly detail), but from the understanding that she has what it takes to handle the country. Respectability Our first baby boomer presidency was a disaster. But what truly made it tragic was its inevitability, the sense that every election locks us into a passing of the torch from older generations to younger. What better way to get rid of the scent of Bill Clinton than to move in the other direction for a change - elect a candidate who will be in her seventies come election time. In other words, elect a person more mature than I suspect Clinton will be even when he himself is seventy. Despite her age, Feinstein is visibly hearty, allowing the possibility that she could stay in office for two terms, until some now-youngster is old enough to take the reins. In this way, we can avoid ever again having a member of the Big Chill generation running this country. Character During the 1996 Senate campaign, which she nearly lost, Feinstein's people discovered what we all now know about her opponent Michael Huffington. Rather than playing this all-time ace of political mudslinging, the Senator sat on the scoop, and risked losing the election. Imagine what Bill Clinton's legion of character assassins would have done with news like this. Everybody chirps about the importance of civility in politics; only Feinstein practices what they preach. Height This country gave up on short Presidents after Jimmy Carter, and the trend doesn't seem to be reversing anytime soon. This is a major drawback for potential women candidates like Madeleine Albright, who exudes shortness from every pore. I have no intention of comparing Feinstein's height with that of other women (a point of speculation just below the question of whether James Buchanan was gay). But as this inauguration photo makes clear, Dianne Feinstein can hold her own in a room full of full-grown men. A good name The vowels in "Dianne Feinstein" have a nice hiya-bub congeniality that contrast nicely with the more stately consonants. Perfectly Presidential; at once formal and informal. Compare this with the dour snippiness of "Liddy Dole," or the already-been-there clumsiness of "George W. Bush." Gender and Cultural Breakthroughs Electing the first woman President and the first Jewish President in one fell swoop is an offer America shouldn't refuse. Strangely, most of the Jewish people with whom I've brought up the idea express a dark pessimism about Feinstein's prospects, contending with no real evidence that America is too anti-Semitic to elect a Jewish president. Comparisons to Kennedy's Catholic-bashing opponents are usually made. Leaving aside that Kennedy won, this argument sells the American people short and overlooks the fact that on the (presumably) most ticklish issue available - that of Middle East policy - Feinstein is actually more progressive than most of her gentile Senate colleagues. She has the Foreign Affairs Committee chops to prove it. Indeed, last year, when a Senate petition condemned the Clinton administration for allegedly being too hard on Israel, Feinstein was one of only a handful of Senators who refused to sign. "The Senator thought it would be counterproductive to go against the Administration's policy," explains advisor Dan Shapiro. There's Feinstein in a nutshell! She's a team player, but a principled one - as evidenced by her alternately scolding and defending tone toward President Clinton. Here she is standing up for what she believes, but pretending she's just being nice. Oh, all's not perfect in Di Fi land. The Senator's voting record indicates a callous approach to civil liberties issues - though it's hard to think of an elected official anywhere with a good civil liberties record. The fact that she's from California, the state that perfected the art of bureaucratic thievery, is in itself cause for concern. Worst of all, she may not be interested in the job. And who could blame her? The Senate offers its own set of attractions: entertaining duties; a high respectability-to-work ratio; multiple rewards, even when you're naughty. The Feinstein Presidency may just be another of simpleton's pipe dreams. But as you watch Liddy Dole test the waters for her millenium run, remember that she's not the best woman for the job. Answers: Rodney E. Slater is the current Secretary of Transportation. Alexis M. Herman is the current Secretary of Labor

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A medical breakthrough