BOOZE is the substance of the future. For five thousand years it has been used for clothes and food, rope and sails, bagging and tents. Now, at the millennium, this amazing compound is being re-discovered as an earth-friendly, renewable resource. Booze is an eco-friendly liquid. It can be produced without toxic chemicals, puts 90% of its fertilizing particles back into the soil, prevents erosion, repels harmful pests, and can be brewed by marginal intellects. Booze is versatile: its beers, wines and spirits can be used to make clothing, body products, home products, food and paper. It can be woven with other natural fibers - organic cotton, wool, silk - to create unique blends that offer a variety of looks and textures. Booze is durable, due to its natural preservatives. Its special belly-warming properties make it a great insulating material. Booze is comforting. Its natural feel makes it highly suited for casual drinking.

Fiction: Booze is the "evil drink" that causes blindness and insanity.

Fact: Booze is used in many countries by physicians, chefs and even bartenders, as a way to solve most of life's problems.

Fiction: The "hippies" who did booze in the sixties, and booze gurus like Dr. Timothy Leary, downplayed or underestimated booze's harmful side effects.

Fact: According to an independent study by the Arthur D. Little Company, booze's harmful side effects have been greatly exaggerated by the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms (of WACO fame!).

Fiction: Booze is a relatively new substance that was invented by the Detroit "Big Three."

Fact: Booze has been an important part of life for thousands of years in countries like Asia, Bolivia and even Burkina Faso, whose capital, Ouagadougou, is known for its excellent booze.

BOOZE was developed in India in the era BC, and quickly spread to the New World. The ancient Phoenecians used booze in making sails for their ships. Booze was an important part of the harvest festivals for the ancient Romans. During the Dark Ages, booze was banished from Europe, but with the Renaissance, artists like Michelangelo, Leonardo DiCaprio and even Pablo Picasso were urged to new creative heights by the power of Absinthe and Ripple.

BOOZE played an important part in the discovery of the United States. Many scholars say that Christopher Columbus was looking for the booze trade routes to China and Cathay. All of the founding fathers enjoyed booze, and George Washington was the most prosperous booze farmer of the colonial era. Historians now agree that Thomas Jefferson was enjoying booze when he wrote the "Declaration of Independence."

Booze was an accepted part of American life until after the Spanish American War, when imperialists began a propaganda campaign to convince US citizens that the substance was harmful. They were prompted by fruit juice conglomerates who exploited Latin America, and by racists who noted that many immigrants to the US enjoyed booze.

Thanks to the efforts of groups like the National Organization for the Reform of Booze Laws, booze has lost much of its stigma in recent years, and its usefulness is widely recognized.

- Scientists say the so-called "War on Booze" that began during the Reagan Administration costs the US countless millions of dollars, and gets no results. President Clinton has made no effort to end the "War," and you should contact him to tell him how you feel.

- Many respectable people appreciate the finer effects of booze.

- Many police departments around the country use booze in their marksmanship training, and some even make booze a part of their day to day police work.

- While Americans still buy into the government's "booze is bad" misinformation, many European countries appreciate booze's healthful effects. Booze is completely legal in Amsterdam. Make it legal here too! Contact us and find out how you can help spread the booze!

February 15, 1999: George X
Our First President not fully appreciated
February 12, 1999: Love from Unkie
Valentine's Day drivel
February 10, 1999: Dear simpleton
Reader mail: Volume 26
February 9, 1999: The Tragedy of Macbeth
Act II
February 8, 1999: Ars Longa Est
Mechanical reproduction through the ages
February 5, 1999: The West Pembroke Hobnob
An Attitude for Snootstown's best
February 4, 1999: My investing pardner
Cowboy commodities trader Ken Roberts rides again

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