[simpleton]

March 15, 1999

So glad ... or not?

[cream]

A recent poll of simpleton readers revealed that, for all the pitfalls and vicissitudes of their itinerant lives, our correspondents are far less disgruntled than their postures of Rumpelstiltskin ire would indicate. Indeed, the attitudes of the simpleton readers, on balance, can reasonably described as "sunny." However, an interesting telegram that came over the transom this weekend indicates these happy exteriors may mask lives of quiet desperation...


[the psychadelic bassist]

Dear simpleton,

I write to express my concern about Jack Bruce, and his intonation of the musical divertissement "I'm So Glad." I do not seek to gainsay the achievements of this fine musician, nor to condemn his many fine musical stylings.

My concern is that Mr. Bruce may not share in the sentiments of this musical number as readily as we, his many acolytes. This melody, whose sentiments are as just and noble as any found in The Grass Root's "Live for Today" or Strawberry Alarm Clock's "Incense and Peppermints," expresses such a degree of felicity as is not often to be found among players.

[jack sings]

It is a surety, Mr. Simpleton, that I am a keen judge of character, and thus when I opine that the lyric of this composition bespeaks a sense of mirth that the singer himself does not exhibit, I speak from an intimate understanding of the man's coeur et pensé. To wit, when Mr. Bruce sings "I'm so glad! I'm so glad! I'm glad! I'm glad! I'm glad!" he seems, in my opinion, to be anything but "glad." Indeed, I would describe his humour thoughout this merry shanty as "pensive," "fretful" and "agonized." It is perhaps not too venturesome to fancy that his tone here is not unlike the mood of solicitous declamation that characterizes his great "SWLABR."

Now we know that the poem for this air was written not by Mr. Bruce himself but by one Skip James, a happy fellow of those sunny climes whose warm-hearted denizens do naught but dance and sing the day through. Mr. James is to be commended for avoiding the lazy composer's practice of rhyming "glad" with "sad" or "mad." Mr. Bruce is to be commended for his spirited setting of the tune.

Thus perhaps our question of Mr. Bruce's tormented vocal impressions should not cause us an undue degree of concern, being easily grouped with earlier questions of the metrical innovations of Ginger Baker (a matter our philosophes have now settled to everyone's satisfaction. To his many initiates, and even those fortunate enough to make the great man's acquaintance, the happiness of Jack Bruce will perhaps remain a matter less for labored inquisition than for measured reflection, and an appreciation of our good fortune in having encountered genius in such fecundity.

I remain,

Mens Potens

[happy jack]


Jack Bruce:
Glad at last


Show simpleton how glad you are


Previously in simpleton:



March 12, 1999: The People's News
The straightup story from the street
March 11, 1999: From Russia with Drugs
Our man in Moscow speaks.
March 10, 1999: Reader Mail
Volume 30: Misdirected mail, misdirected cards,
Nietszche's misdirected poop, and general misdirection
March 9, 1999: Shoreline Gay Butt-Naked News
Measuring the Garden State's news dynamos
March 8, 1999: Return of the Answer Man
We advise the misfits
March 4, 1999: Scared quotes
The complete awfulness of the Bafflermission statement
March 3, 1999: Reader Mail
Volume 29: Writing in the toilet, Germans on booze, Pratt on Abby,
a poem, a TV commercial, and several classic simpletons.





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Monday:

A total mystery

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