[simpleton]

March 25-27, 1999
New ones Monday through Friday

The Top 10 Censored
News Stories of the Year

[censored]

While the "mainstream media" kept us all enthralled with lurid stories of Monica's dress and puff pieces on Gwyneth's hair, the following major news stories passed this year without serious coverage by the smug journalistic establishment. It doesn't take an act of Congress to censor news. Just a corporate power structure that intimidates, discourages or subtly prevents journalists from investigating major stories with profound implications for some of the most powerful institutions in society. As vertical "news-gathering" machines proliferate, multinational corporations and the government regulators that should control them are working together to undermine the will of the people.

With "lifestyle" pabulum, corporate mainstream features and giant color photos now taking up most of the daily newspapers, our special committee on self-censorship combed the best of alternative media to present these ten important stories you didn't hear:








[doctors benefit from illness]

1. Doctors benefit from illness

Reported by Toby Morton in "Journal of Left Reportage."

The massive advertising propaganda of doctors, health clinics and HMOs uses buzzwords like "wellness," "long-term care" and "preventive medicine," and the vast majority of medical reporters are content to parrot this party line. But as Morton persuasively demonstrates, good health is often the farthest thing from doctors minds. "If nobody ever got sick, I'd be out of a job," one physician told the reporter.

Despite overwhelming evidence that healthy people make up only a fraction of the medical/industrial complex's profits, no national corporate newspapers have picked up this compelling story.

2. Multinational corporations hijack voting process

Reported by Madeline Murray Versace in "The Daily Campaign Worker"

Despite all those high-minded words about the "political discourse," "electoral process" and "campaign finance reform," Big Business continues to do what it does best - show that money talks. "Some of the biggest campaign contributions come not from individual citizens, but from large corporations bent on influencing the votes of elected officials," Versace concluded.

Mainstream media devoted millions of column inches to l'Affaire Lewinsky, without mentioning that in many cases their own parent corporations were throwing money at congressional fatcats.

3. "Glass Ceiling" for Sex Workers

Reported by Magdelen Gaitskill in "Left Sex Observer"

While the pro-sex establishment touts the party line about "empowerment" of sex industry workers, this investigations proves that a rigidly hierarchical pecking order exists within the pornography/industrial complex. Women find that their careers are essentially over by age 35, and the best positions are still reserved for attractive employees, and those who are willing to "use all their assets." One manager of a prostitution ring told Gaitskill "I'm looking for good looking girls with big tits."

Playboy, Penthouse, and the rest of the multinational sex magazines buried this story with major implications for young people looking to pursue a career in this thriving industry.






[bending over to avoid hitting the glass ceiling]

4. Foreigners dislike Americans

Reported by Jurko Tadeusz, in "Left World News"

Listening to Bill Clinton or Madeline Albright tell the story, most Americans believe that they are loved and welcomed by emerging peoples all over the world. Tadeusz reveals the story that the diplomatic/industrial complex has concealed - that while people in other countries may flock to Kiss concerts and gather around their televisions to view Baywatch, they frequently disdain and loathe the American people. "Right now, for example, we're supposed to be doing a favor to the Kosovar Albanians," says expert Buck Revell. "In a couple weeks, I guarantee you, the Kosovars themselves will be burning the American flag. They hate us no matter what we do."

[foreigners: do they hate us?]

Although the story has major implications for US foreign policy, large corporate media focused most of its attention on the bombing of Iraq, the bombing of Sudan and Afghanistan and the bombing of Yugoslavia. American readers would have no reason to suspect that foreigners may not universally love US citizens.








[getting the story]

5. Catholic Church propagandizes against reproductive rights

Reported by Mary Kathleen McConnell, in "New Socialist Religious Observer"

Despite its humanitarian claims, the Roman Catholic Church uses its powerful "bully pulpits" to argue against a woman's right to choose. Some of the most prominent priests in the religious/cultural complex are openly giving anti-abortion sermons every Sunday morning, and legislation to stop this officially sanctioned hate speech remains stalled in Congress. "I'd like to see what Father Julio would say if it was his daughter who accidentally became pregnant," one disgruntled churchgoer commented.

But you're unlikely to learn that from mainstream coverage in "The Catholic Star Herald" and "The New Catholic Encyclopedia," neither of which picked up this major story.

6. Armed forces trained to kill - legally

Reported by Ace Frehley, in "Left Military Observer"

Although they clothe their missions in Orwellian euphemisms about "peacekeeping" and "restoring democracy," the US Armed Forces, Frehley reports, are focused on finding new and more efficient ways of killing "enemies" and destroying their equipment. This is practically an open secret within the military/armed forces complex, where officers speak openly of "degrading, diminishing and even destroying" foreign forces.

None of the major corporate media devoted to covering military affairs - Soldier of Fortune, Vietnam War Quarterly, and US News and World Report - consider this major story worthy of any serious coverage.

7. Advertisers try to stay "hip" with teens

Reported by Tom Frank in "Socialist Hipster Review"

Pepsi, Mountain Dew, Nike and other major multinational players in the lifestyle/marketing complex make big bucks selling products to younger buyers. But this 600-page multipart investigation reveals that in many cases over-the-hill marketers are openly pandering to young people in an effort to appear "hip" and, as a result, sell their products. "They be trying to act all round and butternut and shit yo," says one teen, "but it's a bunch of northern tubas trying to make salt, you know what I'm sayin'? It's like totally fresno February"

To date, not one of the major media corporations has chosen to investigate. "We just don't think that story's for us," said Modern Maturity editor Haynes Rybeck, when contacted by the Simpleton Censorship Committee.






[kids speaking some crazy patois!]








[getting the story]

8. Information not so "free" online

Reported by Flip Henwood, in "Left Online Report"

You'd never know it from all the glowing stories about the "frictionless economy" and "free flow of information," but many of the web sites you're reading are in the pockets of corporate advertisers. In many cases, web site operators are blatantly ignoring the firewall between advertising and editorial, and frightening total-surveillence technologies - which are called "Cookies" in a transparent effort to make them seem "homey" - watch you as you surf online. "In a lot of cases, some of the blinking graphics you see on web pages aren't just there for decoration - they're advertisements, from people who want you to buy their products," says one online journalist.

While mainstream media has focused on "e commerce" and "webvertising," the scandal of old-style advertising has not been reported on in any serious way.

9. Tobacco companies suppress third-hand smoke research

Reported by Smokey Kaufman, in "Emphysema and Lung Cancer News"

After decades of dragging their heals, tobacco companies are finally being made to admit that they suppressed findings on the dangers of both cigarette smoke and "second-hand" smoke. But as Kaufman's story points out, the dangers of third-hand smoke have been completely classified by the tobacco/paper complex. Every week, ten thousand teenagers hear somebody talk about some third party's smoking habit - and are immediately hooked. "They don't want you to know that hundreds of thousands of Americans have gotten lung cancer just from seeing cigarettes on TV,[italics added]" says one tobacco company whistle-blower.

It's depressingly easy to see why the mainstream media have soft-pedaled this story. Just look at the cigarette ads that continue to appear in renowned publications like Esquire, Newsweek and Celebrity Sleuth.

10. Body snatchers undermine democratic government

Reported by Kevin McCarthy in "Mind Control Times"

As major media falls all over itself praising the latest developments in "pod people" technology, McCarthy demonstrates how the zombie/replicant industry has glossed over issues of groupthink, conformism and irresponsible voting. "Everybody's so happy about how the pod beings are such an easy advertising demographic, and bring down the crime rate," says one civil libertarian, "but they don't mention that they're coming for all of us! You're next!"

Despite a nationwide outbreak of sedated behavior and monotone speech, the major media publications continue to ignore this developing story. As with all the news stories mentioned here, this one has major implications for the future of global democracy.






[pod people]


Censor simpleton


Previously in simpleton:



March 23, 1999: Picture Prefect
Fun with misdirected mail
March 18, 1999: First quarter memo
The eternal return of Jacquie Driscolle
March 17, 1999: Fun with death masks
and pulldown menus
March 16, 1999: Answer Man 3
Advice to the love-bored
March 15, 1999: So glad...or not?
Jack Bruce considered
March 12, 1999: The People's News
The straightup story from the street
March 11, 1999: From Russia with Drugs
Our man in Moscow speaks.
March 10, 1999: Reader Mail
Volume 30: Misdirected mail, misdirected cards,
Nietszche's misdirected poop, and general misdirection
March 9, 1999: Shoreline Gay Butt-Naked News
Measuring the Garden State's news dynamos





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Mary Schmich: The simpleton Interview

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