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![[dressed in leather and leaning against his Cruiser, officer Ely discusses the
eternal hunt for naked gay men]](img2/acpress/cop.gif)
I love to say "I told you so." For readers who are beginning to weary of
The Simpleton's ongoing feuds and letter-writing campaigns against
the Atlantic City Press, I promise that today's column (yesterday's column,
EDT) will be the last on this topic for some time. However, I feel the need to cluck
over a discovery that simpleton readers learned about while the Press was still
blinded by its slavish devotion to petty local officials and their trumped-up party
line.
Regular readers will recall that in a recent column we speculated on the
real reason conservation officer Doug Ely, of the New Jersey state
Fish, Game and Wildlife Division, was engaged in a thuggish, tempt-and-bust police
crackdown against nude gay men at South Jersey's Higbee Beach Wildlife Area. A cursory
reading of the Press
article on Officer Ely's escapades
makes it clear that this official devotes more time to open-armed pursuit of naked
homosexuals than he does to policing poachers or maintaining a safe area for
wildlife. Still, reasonable minds could differ with our conclusion that Officer Ely's
dedication to this side-job had more to do with leather-butch
self-gratification than with public
service.
Now, however, the facts are in, and while the Press continues to turn a blind
eye to Officer Ely's closeted antics, we're pleased to report that at least one
municipal court in the Garden State sees through this policeman's obsessive search
for all-male excitement. It now appears that a judge in Lower
Township, NJ has thrown out the case against one of Ely's nude gay arrestees, on the
grounds that, in the Press' words, "Ely entrapped the suspect by leading
him on." (Italics mine).
![[legislation]](img2/acpress/nudenotlewd.gif)
Details remain sketchy, as simpleton's South Jersey bureau is understaffed at the
moment, and we were unable to follow up with the Lower Township court by press time.
However, the Press itself has had to report Judge Peter Tourison's ruling
that Officer Ely's suggestive badinage with his disrobed suspects (amply
described in our earlier article) amounts to entrapment.
Oh, don't worry. Press reporter Richard Degener, whose sympathies with this
cruisin' safety official are plain to see, tries to mitigate Officer Ely's forceful
flirting. In an article reporting (with barely-disguised satisfaction) on new proposals
to outlaw nudity at Higbee beach, Degener places unexplained scare quotes around the
word "entrapped" - as if a Press reporter has any place making a dig at the
ruling of a member of the New Jersey Bar Association. Later, describing the entrapment
case in greater detail, Degener takes the unusual step of letting Officer Ely appeal
the judge's ruling in the court of public opinion:
Ely said he could have made the arrest earlier in the verbal exchange and had it
stick, but he continued talking because he wanted to make sure he had a case.
Yeah, I'll bet you could have had it stick, Officer Ely. Degener can dance and interpret
all he wants, but the court's ruling, and simpleton's, is clear. This Officer Ely has
just one thing on his mind when he's chasing those birthday-suited gay beachgoers
across the dunes and through the pounding surf. And it's not public safety.
![[get a room]](img2/acpress/getaroom.gif)
Meanwhile, how is the Press editorial page responding to this naked
misuse of police authority for personal satisfaction? It's not. In today's editorial
column on the park situation, the Press - which has already shown
itself to be an enemy of the surfers,
swimmers and topless/bottomless gays who make up South Jersey's gorgeous mosaic -
chose not to mention this inconvenient detail. To their credit, the Press editors
have gone on record opposing new legislation, but what will make them wake up to the
latent hyjinx of the state's conservation officers? When the next story surfaces, and
Officer Ely, during a chase through park underbrush, "accidentally" has all his clothing
torn off by scrub pine brambles (leaving him wearing nothing but his holster and boots),
will the Press continue to ignore this peculiar case of police hanky-panky?
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![[simpleton]](img/thesimp.gif)