I've had fun in the past with the students of San Francisco State University, and with the incessant simpering of middling achievers who expend more effort making excuses than trying to solve for x. This is not an expression of college snobbery (hardly an option, given my underwhelming alma mater), but a reaction to the emails from students that pile up in my inbox and proffer the kind of lousy, ungrammatical rationalizations ("It's not fair that you marked me off for not having my homework when I wasn't in class when you assigned the homework so how was i supposed to know about what your assigning when i'm not there anyway?") that make me fearful for the future of entry level employment. Mrs. Simpleton, a math teacher whose charitable nature poor students mistake for gullibility, tries to head off such puling. But a true slacker is forever at your throat or at your feet.

But it's only fair to give credit where it is due. The above letter arrived via USPS in my wife's school mailbox, and shows a devotion to scholarly duty that is as refreshing as it is overdue:

Dear XXX,

I am in your math/algebra 059 class on M,W,Th. I had a motor vehicle accident on 8 Nov 99 at 4:50PM on my way to Algebra Class. Both Airbags were deployed as a result of the impact.

I sincerely apologize for missing class on Monday. I am very sore because of the accident in my back, neck, and face. The doctors believe that I will be alright though. The physicians told me to take it easy for a few days. I am hoping I feel well enough to attend Wednesday's class. I will be working all problems in chapter 5 to catch up. I will also be happy to attend tutorial sessions, so I will not fall behind. Please feel free to contact me @ home.

Sincerely,

NAME WITHHELD

It may lack some of the epistolary poetry of, say, Paul's first letter to the Corinthians, and the style is plain almost to the point of insentience. But when you've listened to enough weak-minded doubletalk, it's hard not to like this student's directness, his indifference to temporary inconvenience, and most of all his grown-up refusal even to consider shirking his responsibilities. Sadly, not everybody is so forthright. But we gain collective strength one citizen at a time. It's only when you can be counted on that you can stand up and be counted.