Dear simpletonians,

Yesterday was a bad day for me

By now, you all know that we were forced to suspend publication on October 23.

simpleton is published daily on a shoestring budget, a wing and a prayer. While we endeavor to ensure the highest quality service to each and every one of our readers, technical glitches are bound to occur.

I wish I could say suspending publication was a difficult decision for me. But it was not my decision at all. According to our internet service provider (ISP), Sirius Connections, a pre-dawn blackout in the Bay Area caused servers to shut down, or "crash". We were thus without ftp capacity, and unable to bring you the kind of high-quality, hard-hitting content you have come to expect when you hear the name simpleton.

It was painful for all of us. Many of you have expressed your concern to me individually. We were particularly frustrated by the fact that this first-time (and we hope, unique) difficulty came on the one-month anniversary of simpleton daily publication.

In a way, perhaps we can all draw a lesson from this crisis. It's easy, in our daily rush, to forget how much simpleton has become a part of each and every one of our days. This crisis, ironically, helps us all appreciate simpleton a little more.

We are a community thousands strong, and rest assured that we the management of Calzone have taken the following steps:

1. All simpleton subscribers will have their bills credited for the full value of the lost access time. You will notice this adjustment in your next credit card bill.

2. New and improved simpleton promotional graphics will be coming soon. For now, I personally invite you to right-click on today's graphic, and to scan our extensive archive for others, all available at no additional cost to you.

3. We will continue to strive to bring you the highest-quality content in the 48 contiguous states, updated on a daily basis, and available to you at an affordable price.

Excelsior!

Sincerely,

H. Peabody Briggs
Chief Executive Officer
Calzone