"a gear, a piston, and a monkey wrench" for 26 September 1932. Updated every FORTNIGHT.

	Frank/Herbert While product quality might be a fine break point for bankers deciding whether to spend that mortgage auction windfall on a Packard or a Ford, what can you say to the lords of Hollywood's assembly lines, who are betting the factory that next year audiences will flock to see a moving picture about a 50 foot ape? We face a similar dilemma here in our new media soup kitchen - though creative choice here tends to be limited to whether "butterfield" is a more memorable tag for a 'phone number than "boondoggle." And voters will face the same same choice in a few weeks - the bumbling President of the U.S. or the stumbling governor of New York? While Roosevelt castigates "Ishmaels and Insulls" and Hoover promises not to let the Boners back in Anacostia, we're still having a hard time distinguishing brands X and Y. Both are promising to get America working again, (we just wish somebody would promise to get us a drink), but except for those Hollywood mahdis - who with the dubious promise of continued interest in "talkies" have attracted enough venture cash to fill in Owens Lake - we don't see anybody doing much real work - like maybe making automobiles, typewriters, slide rules or other stuff that people, you know, use. Even if either the horse trader or the traitor to his class can find a way to get Americans making cars again, nobody outside the candidates' tax bracket can afford to buy them. By next year, the only steel contraptions still moving in America will be the ones on Governor Roosevelt's legs. courtesy of Fatty Arbuckled Go back if you must. But you'd rather go ahead, and see how simpleton grokked the sixties.